So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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