I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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