So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
