He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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