went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
