Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
