am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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