I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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