remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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