i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
