I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
