So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize