Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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