I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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