If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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