im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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