I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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