i was born a porn star she said
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
you will always have a special place in my vag
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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