You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
