She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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