he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Randomize
