I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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