some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
