The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
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