there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Rumble strips road head = magical
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
