i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
