girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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