I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
