Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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