I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
