so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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