we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How external is "for external use only"?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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