My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
