I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
