You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
