I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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