WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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