I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
