I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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