grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
