I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
