ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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