Tell her she can't have a vagina
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
