But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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