that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
