she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize