Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
