She announced her abortion via fbk
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
