somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
porn star boner night. come get it.
You took a bar mat shot.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
