she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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