The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
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