dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
