Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
