everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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