i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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