You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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